NO.

OK. That's it.

SOMEONE contact Kanye.

SOMEONE order him to produce a monsterously MONSTEROUS Tune like 'All Of The Lights'.

SOMEONE tell him that I would like to feature on the track (some singing lessons might be needed prior to recording though...)

SOMEONE get me an outfit like Rihanna's.

SOMEONE contact Hype William's.

...AND LETS GET THIS TUNE/VIDEOOOOO ORRRRRN AND POPPING!!!!!!!

This song/video is TOO TOO MUCH! Round of applause for Kanyeeeeezy/Rihanneeeeeezy for Sheeeeeeeeeezy.



xxx

The high life...

Sunday night was the marvellous occasion that is 'The Grammys'...The 53rd Annual Grammy Awards to be exact...

I wasn't intending on watching any part of it to be honest...but I stumbled accross the red-carpet show on E!...and NATURALLY I was quickly hooked. I mean, who doesn't love a bit of celebrity!? A bit of razzle dazzle...and all the questionable outfits that come with it!

THE WINNERS: (in my humble opinion...)

Kim Kardashian - that gold dress was simply FAAAABULOUS. Standard Kardashian! If someone would kindly make me one similar, that would be greatly appreciated.


Katy Perry's Grandma - YEP. As a 90th birthday pressie, Katy Perry brought her Granny along...complete with fake eyelashes that would put the average young woman to shame. Who said the elderly couldn't be swaggarific too!?

Ll Cool J - ...just for being Ll Cool J. Marry me!?

Willow Smith - ...who, when interviewed on the Red Carpet, said that she hoped her 'Whip My Hair' musical masterpiece 'changed people's lives'...AW.

Selena Gomez - to be honest, I don't really know much about her...but she looked hawwwt! No wonder Justin Bieber is smitten!



THE LOSERS: (in my even more humble opinion...)

Jennifer Hudsonn - why did the camera's insist on focusing on her bunioned little toe!??? Yes, I know her shoes were emotional...but there was no need for that sort of exposure.





Lady Gaga - she arrived in an egg... apparently in 'incubation' for her performance. No but really...is she ok!?













Rihanna - OK I admit that I am a Ri-Ri fan now...but that dress...sorry!??? What was the inspiration behind it...cotton wool?!



xxx

To whom it may concern...

(A rant from the Christmas holidays...)

To Whom It May Concern,

Instead of wasting money, and sending 100 policemen to Dartford train station to catch fare dodgers (of which I am not), would it not be a better use of resources to deploy such individuals in the combat against those who commit more heinous offences!? You know, like crimes against the person, of varying shapes and degrees!?

Just a thought.

Kind regards,

An irritated commuter at Dartford station, whose travels are constantly being inconvenienced by transport police officers who have nothing better to do.

xxx

Au revoir 2010...HELLO 2011!!!

I’m not going to lie, 2011 didn’t exactly start in the most promising fashion - emotionally hungover from the night before, coupled with a massive bear hug with my friends as the clock struck midnight led to me temporarily loosing my favourite earrings. Not ideal. Thankfully the earrings were quickly located.

HOWWWWWWEVER, after a good nights sleep (and a mad dash for the last train), I officially arrived in 2011!!

Hello 21! – An ADULT...yep, that’s me!
Hello VAT rise! - Slassssssh panic buying before the 4th January!
Hello GRADUATING! - The last three years have literally flown by :(
Hello entering the REAL WORLD...and jobs...and all that jazz...!

2010 was a great year...here is to 2011 being even greater!! (Yes I know that 'greater' isn't a word...but it's seems so fitting here!)

I’M EXCITED. That ‘I-wonder-what-awaits’ kind of excitement. EEEK!

xxx

As much as I TRY to dislike Rihanna...

...it's proving IMPOSSIBLE!

Her latest video for 'What's My Name', featuring Drake just confirmed this...
-Her STYLE is on point!
-Her OUTFIT is on point!
-Her HAIR is on point!
-DRAKE is on point!
-The SONG is on point!...
...IT's ALL JUST ON POINT...!!!!...and I can't even lie, I did get very excited when she performed 'Only Girl' on the X-Factor recently. I was singing and dancing along...TV on fulllll blast...the WHOLE WORKS!!!

SO: I have posted this message to admit that yes, for the TIME BEING, I am a SLIGHT Rihanna fan...
(don't hate me Chris, you are still my numero Uno :))



xxx

I fear for the future of FEET...

I am the biggest advocate for heels. They have the ability to turn an average outfit into one that spells...'FIYA'.
Personally, I detest kitten heels...for me, 4inches is the absolute minimum.
THAT BEING SAID...heels are not for everyone.
When Louboutin, Choo, Blahnik, and the rest of the shoe God's created their objects of immense beauty, I am quite sure that they did NOT intend for them to be bending at compass-measurable angles!!!
SO...whyyyyyy am I seeing Women donning the 45degree life!??? Walking as if that ankle may give way any second...??
That my friends, is not swag.
If you can't walk straight, just stick to the flats.
If you can't rock them, just leave them in the shop for a more respectful owner.
Wowzers...it's not rock-et science!
xxx

Bats...Sorry!?

My local Waitrose has quite an ingenious scheme going on at the moment. When you buy something, along with your receipt, you get given a token, and with this token comes great responsibility...you are asked to slot it into one of 3 boxes, representing 3 different charities. At the end of a given period, the box/charity with the most tokens will be given a certain amount of money.

NOW...I am allll for giving to charity...but WHYYYYY UPON WHYYYYY would I want to give to the local BAT AWARENESS SOCIETY!????
Absolute nonsense.
Those filthy, virulent rodents don't need encouragement to expand their dynasties.
HOWWWWW I ask did a charity representing these beasts make it into the running...and more to the point whyyyy was it in second place!???

Sorry, but if Waitrose have that much money burning a hole in their pocket, the 'TinTin Tande Shopping Fund' could do with an injection...maybe I'll suggest this next time I pop in?

xxx