A DOG nearly ATE ME!

I kid you not! Tonight, at precisely 11.14pm...a dog nearly ATE me.

(Before reading this story, please note, I'm scared of dogs...AND NO, I didn't have bad experience with them as a child...)

As I casually strolled down my road, I noticed, with my -1.5 vision (probably -2 now tbh), a dog in the distance. Thinking nothing of it (OBVIOUSLY it must have an owner close by) I continued to my door...
...NEXT THING I KNOW, this bull-dog looking creature is running towards me, no leash, no owner, NOTHING!
Did I not SCREAM at the top of my voice!?!??!? OF COURSE...and I somehow found myself behind a wall (albeit a low one) and on top of a recycling box! that FIGHT OR FLIGHT response well and truelly possesseddddddddddddd me!
SO...the missing owner suddenly appears, laughing (DOES THIS LOOK FUNNY TO YOU!?), and telling me the dog wanted to 'play' (ERMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...do I look like I want to PLAY!?).
The owner then proceeded to try and make conversation with me...??? He could see that I was SHAKING, and could barely SPEAK, after nearly being dinner, and he wanted to talk about the WEATHER!?
Nonsenseeeeee.
xxx